Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
