Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
