you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
