this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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