hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
