I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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