We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize