Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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