doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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