But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
