yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
