Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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