Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
