i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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