So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
