i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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