I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize