Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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