mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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