Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
