She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
