I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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