My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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