week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
