Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
