There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
