If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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