great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
