i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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