Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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