The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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