sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize