just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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