NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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