Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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