hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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