no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
