not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
