chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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