I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
