Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
