well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
