Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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