i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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