you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
