Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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