I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
