her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
