We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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