Ambien. No doubt about it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
