just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
