Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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