It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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